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I spent a lot of time talking to my dear friend , and an expert on this site, Roland Comtois, about death and dying.- and what makes transitioning easier for both those that pass and those that are left behind.

Despite our inexorable movement toward it from the time we draw our first breath, death is a subject most of us tend to avoid. So when it happens to someone we know, someone we think we know, or someone we love – or when it threatens us – we are often caught off guard.

Lately, I have been preoccupied with death. It started after a back surgery which left me feeling vulnerable and at the mercy of others. General anesthesia made me feel like I was losing control, and I worried about the ramifications of it, especially after what happened to Joan Rivers. Funny, but this had a bigger impact on me than surgery ten years ago for breast cancer. You see, at 56 mortality knocks more loudly. This is what prompted my recent conversation with Roland Comtois – which can be seen in his room on the website – and my desire to explore more about death and dying.

I wondered if we should think more about a conscious transition. Are there things to prepare for in advance? From our wills to how we want to die, where we want to die, and taking it a step further, preparing our souls for transition. These are just some of the things I wanted to discuss with Roland.

Some say doing all this preparation makes the passage easier. What I wonder is, if this is just a pit stop and we simply leave our earth suit when we cross over, how can we do that more peacefully?

There are volumes of books and theories on the subject, and yet it remains a subject that I – and most people – avoid; we are simply not comfortable with it. So, we live our busy lives and ignore this ever-impending event. I wonder if this is why we ship our elderly away and our culture is so youth-oriented.

Recently, my 98 year-old father passed. I had thought I was totally prepared; after all, we had had so many close calls and false alarms. But there was actually a part of me that did not feel he could die. Are we ever really prepared?

Despite his slide into dementia, despite his age, I was not prepared. And now he is not here, and I find myself in a bit of denial. After all, he has always been around. And there is that feeling of loss and grief that Natasha Josefowitz talks so beautifully about in our interview, explaining that these feelings have their own course for each individual. So I am just trying to flow with it..

I am also finding that grief is ignited at different times and locations, and just when I feel I am getting past it, something will once again bring it to the forefront.

There is so much we have to learn about living fully so we can transition peacefully – both as individuals and in helping our loved ones when they depart. But always, the key is living in the moment, loving in the moment, and making the most of what is right in front of us. The loss of my father has reminded me viscerally of this.