Roland Comtois

Roland Comtois and My Healing Rooms discussion on death and dying.

Interview

Demonstration

Roland Comtois’ Purple Paper Introduction

Roland discusses Religion versus Spirituality and How To Keep The Light Shining

The Power of Love

Introducing Roland Comtois, RN and Medium with a Discussion of The Power of Love

Love. Few words have the power to evoke so many scenarios. There is romantic love – hearts and flowers. There is sexual attraction we equate to love. There is the love we have for friends and family, for our children, and there is the love they have for us. There is love of country, love of our fellow man. But what exactly is love? And how does it impact us?

We are told love makes the world go round, but no one has ever defined quite how.

According to Lao Tzu, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

And the genius Robert Heinlein has said that, “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

But exactly how does love impact us? Why do we need it? And is it better to give than to receive. Should the love in our lives be a noun or a verb?

According to Roland Comtois, RN and medium, love is everlasting. It follows us from this plane to the next and we are able to still feel it from our loved ones who have crossed over – if we are open to doing so, that is.

So what exactly does being loved bring into our lives? How does it impact our well-being? Here are just a few of the many effects love has on us individually and mankind in general:

• Love enhances our sense of self – Sure, we are secure in who we are. Sure we like ourselves. But being loved is validation; it indicates that someone else values us which, in turn, allows us to value ourselves even more.

• Love provides a sense of connectivity – We revel in our individuality, but we also need to know that we are not alone. And whether we are loving or being loved, love provides a sense of connectivity to others which is both reassuring and restorative.

• Love can decrease blood pressure – Studies have shown that being with a loved one can decrease blood pressure. Researchers speculate the familiarity of a partner’s presence is enough to induce calmness, even if you’re on the skids.

• Love helps you put life and its vicissitudes in perspective – When we love and we act with love, whether or not our job is secure, our savings is adequate, our car is in the shop, and all the other concerns we might have in our lives are diminished.

• Love reminds us that it is better to give than to receive – In short, love takes us from the what’s-in-it-for-me attitude to the abundance and joy we experience when we give. And whether we are giving to a significant other, to our children, to our co-workers, or to strangers, we benefit from the rebound of positive energy that giving engenders.

• Love reduces the risks of certain diseases – When we receive love, and when we give it, we de-stress. And as stress is at the rood of so many dis-eases, being loved and giving love can directly impact our health.

• Love is contagious – When we share a treat with someone at the office, drop food at a food bank, volunteer at a soup kitchen, smile at a stranger, make a nice comment to a store clerk, stop to help someone with a flat tire … when we perform any kindness to anyone, we are sharing love. And people who experience love tend to pass it along; there is a trickle down, up, and around effect to love.

This month, the month in which Love is prominent, www.MyHealingRooms.com is featuring Roland Comtois because he is – in short – all about the power of love. Its power to heal, its power to transform, and its power to transcend time, space, distance, and even death. Join us for a month of celebrating Love and all that Roland Comtois brings to the reality and discussion of the magical element that truly does make the world go round.

Q & A with Roland Comtois

You are an LPN. What motivated you to become a nurse, and how many years did you work in the medical field?

I spent the majority of my life knowing that I needed to help people. I wasn’t always sure how that would unfold.

I always felt a connection to the medical field. One day at lunch a dear friend of mine said “why don’t you go to nursing school”? What he did for me on that day was give me permission to truly take a step towards a career of healing and helping others. He gave me the opportunity to see this potential inside myself.

I graduated from nursing school in 1985 as Licensed Practical Nurse. I spent the majority of my career dealing with the needs of the elderly. As a charge nurse for a 76 bed unit, I was responsible for the wellness and care of my patients, their families and my staff. I worked as Vice-President of Wellness and Operations for an Assisted Living Facility, creating programs that would enhance the lives of our patients. I taught CNA’s classes and did temporary work at other types of facilities.

What, for you, was the most rewarding part of being a medical practitioner? And what was the most difficult?

The real joy in being a nurse is the opportunity to nurture the body, mind and soul of my patients. I found great satisfaction in being there for them when they needed me (or my staff). The joy was equally satisfying in offering to the family of my patients the same kindness and care. There’s a great satisfaction in doing something you absolutely love doing. I found that satisfaction in my work as a nurse. I often to say to people “if your life/work/mission doesn’t take your breath away, get a new life/work/mission.

My greatest joy, truthfully speaking, was assisting those near death (and their families) by offering loving compassion and professional care. I made it my mission that my patients would be treated with respect and honor. Whatever they needed to be comfortable and peaceful, I would see to it. I spent many days sitting next to the bed of dying patients, knowing that all I could really do was support and love them. I never screamed “I love you” except near the very end. I would whisper words of encouragement. I held their hands. I instructed my staff how to care for them, both physically and spiritually (in accordance with their beliefs). I listened to the patient’s fears (when they could talk). I held the hands of the family, offering to them the support they needed to work through the experience at hand. I even counseled my patients and their families about dying and death. All of these things I did because it was the right thing to do. I often thought to myself, “ I hope that someone is as kind to me when my final breaths are upon me, as I was to my patients.”

We should live our lives helping each other. All I want to do is help, nothing more, nothing less. I know that this loving kindness and care that I taught my staff/patients/families becomes a ripple effect of energy. I felt so strongly that if I stood in that place of strength for them, that somewhere out there in the world or in their lives they would recall what they experienced and pass it on to someone else.
The most difficult aspect of being in the medical profession was time. There was never enough time to do all that I wanted to do for those in need. But, I have made a promise to carry it forward in my life.

I set up something called Heavenly Passage. When someone or their family has fear around dying and death, I talk to them. I have spoken to people across the county (never with a fee associated with this service) who just need someone to talk to. I remember in 2013, a woman who had weeks to live, called me from Chicago. She said “what should I do for my children or what should I say to them right now?” I said tell them truth and then hold them. Give them permission to cry, to be afraid or to be worried. Let them feel what they need to feel. Then, hold them and tell them that the love you feel right now will never leave you. And, just be together with each other. I heard from this woman’s sister many, many months after she passed that our conversation that fateful day, days before she passed, and my book, gave her immeasurable peace.

I find such comfort in having these moments. I can feel the breathlessness of those I’m speaking to, reuniting with hope again. My nursing career has given me the opportunity to have these sacred moments.

You have a gift, the ability to see beyond this plane. Please describe this for us?

I think that we all have a gift. I don’t always use the word gift. I see this as an aspect of me. We all have different parts sewn together by something invisible, by something beautiful.

Seeing beyond this plane requires going deep within yourself beyond pain, despair and doubt. It is seeing something as it is. Sometimes seeing it is like a movie playing in my mind, and with the quietness and solace those images begin to move or have energy. Or sometimes it’s like all the walls fall to the ground and the purity of that plane is visible.

I compare these feelings to those I have when I hold my daughter, or when I look into the eyes of dear friend. I think that is where that space is. We often look upward and beyond, but what about within? I believe in the beyond and the above, but I also believe that the invisible interconnections are within us.

When you see beyond this plane you see beyond the possibility, deep into the reality of what exists. I often think it’s all moving at one amazing and extraordinary moment of time.

What do you see when you close your eyes? I see light. I see love. I see hope. I see possibility. I see momentum. I see the continuity of life after death. I see …

After a time of meditation and prayer, I simply ask “what message must I send?” Then with my eyes closed, I feel a lightness come over me, as I am being enveloped by something holy or special. It’s like a gentle wave of energy flows through me. I allow myself to step forward into that space through my meditation and when I do, the doorway to the other side opens. What comes next takes my breath away. The continuity of love expressed through words, images, sound, experiences and energy. After that, it gets noisy!

When did you first become aware of your gift, and what was your response to it when you did?

I remember as a kid that I was part of something extraordinary, and that my part of it created something amazing. I knew as child that there was something more than what my physical existence was teaching me. That there was an invisible energy that existed, just as sure as I existed. This concept came to me a very young child.

When I was writing my first book I said to my mother “Did I really seem different to you than others?” She said, ”You were not like anyone else. You used to stand up in your crib having conversations with something or someone. I just let you be.”

I responded well to it unless I was being ridiculed, bothered or even beaten up because of it. I never really had fear of the “gift” or that “aspect of myself. But sometimes others seemed to.

How did your medical career and your abilities intersect? Did they enrich each other, and if so, how?

“Emile” my first patient found dead during the 11-7 shift rounds brought me to my knees. I was so emotional about his passing that I all I could do was pray. I sat in a room and held prayerful loving energy that he would be carried through to the light. Fast forward, nearly nineteen years later or more, I was in Providence, RI. I was channeling a message for a forty-something year old woman. I heard in my head “You did a great job helping Emile.” I didn’t say anything out loud to the woman. I channeled messages for that woman about her mom that brought her peace. Later when the presentation was complete, that forty-something year old came up to me and said “Do you remember Pat?” Well, Pat was the nurse that allowed me to sit and pray for “Emile” the day he died.

I will never forget “Grace.” My 95 year old Alzheimer’s patient. The last of her family. I knew it was her time to go. I held her hand, listened to hear heartbeat, told her of what is beyond here. When she passed away, this most profound feeling overpowered me. I felt such gratitude from her that I could hear her in my head say “Thank you.” This light breeze passed through me and I was changed because of it.

I also never forget “Florence.” I walked into her room and she looked right at me and said “I can’t go to your wedding, but I will always be with you.”

So, yes, there have been many moments that have enriched my life: experiences with patients and spirituality, with love and mediumship and knowing, that I will never forget.

Mediums tend to use their gifts in different ways, to have varying perspectives on the purpose of mediumship. For you, what purpose does your gift serve?

My “gift” serves one purpose, and that is to bring healing. Healing refers to “returning to wholeness.” What I do is offer someone the opportunity to see beyond that plane of fear or grief; to go deep to rediscover, or in some cases discover, the place within where they are whole. This place is deeply rooted in pure energy, truth, and unconditional love. It’s where our loved ones are, where Spirit exists, where the connection between all is held. I think there’s so much more to discover within the human spirit, from where our loved ones remain to where the reality of life exists.

I think my “gift” also offers the opportunity to reengage hope. I think my “gift” gives someone permission to trust their truth. I think my “gift” opens the door to beautiful and incredible life moments.

I’m not really that interested in talking to the dead. I’m interested in talking to the living about the possibility that there is more…that love carries on…that healing is real…that eternity and destiny exist right now……

Mediumship, by its definition, is the intermediary between God and Man. When I give toys to a homeless shelter or when I offer friendship to someone in need or when I call someone in despair, or when I smile at a stranger, aren’t I really an intermediary between God and Man!

Once so steeped in religious belief, a large portion of our society has become agnostic, if not atheist? To what would you ascribe this?

I think the answer lies in the inability of religion to spiritually nourish the soul, to honor humankind…all humankind. I think we have forgotten how to stand together. I think that we have forgotten about unity and the strength that exists when we are truly one.

I think religions offers boundaries that prohibit our spiritual growth.

I also think that religion has an opportunity to move its flock forward, by putting aside its differences and reawakening it similarities. There is something wonderful about religion…that when it creates a respectful, harmonious heart-centered experience that it enlightens its followers.

What do you see as the primary differences between religion and spirituality?

Spirituality is an inner journey based upon codes or morals that may have been taught through religion.

The foundation to a spiritual life begins with the experience of religion. Religion offers a framework by which you engage in an experience that awakens your awareness to God/Spirit/Energy/Consciousness. Religion encourages you to explore the reality of faith, the afterlife, and many other deeply rooted spiritual experiences, including prayer.

Religion by its own doctrines offers us a limited opportunity for spiritual growth. Once you choose a religion, you live confined within its man-made boundaries, and sometimes that proves to be less than what is needed for the spiritual explorer.

Some religions teach us that the only way to see God is through the acceptance of their practices, while others suggest that when doing certain rituals, it is these rituals that open us to something beyond here.

For me the exploration began when I stood singing songs in the Catholic Church in my birth town. Now, because of spirituality, I have expanded that into a greater understanding simply because of exploring the spiritual life. My deep belief in the afterlife, the power of love, faith, compassion, humanity, humility, kindness, God/Spirit/Energy/Consciousness and so much more, started with my religious experiences and now grow because of my spirituality.

Spirituality is a deeply, powerfully moving inward journey towards the divine source that co-exists within each soul / individual. It is a voyage to the truth of self, connectedness to God/Spirit/Energy/Consciousness and to the unity that exists in all beings. This inner journey is based on the codes and morals of our foundation which enlighten our spiritual path.

Religious experiences such as praying the “Lords Prayer” or chanting “OM” or other modes of religious practices, once explored, teach us that the concept of unity is inherent in the practice. Yet, as beautiful as it is to gather and chant with like-minded souls, the individual experience is equally as beautiful and necessary.

The true spiritual explorer, if connected to source, has moments of enlightenment. Enlightenment comes from the practice spirituality and is that one singular moment when perfection and truth meet love. It’s that moment when all the stars line up to create a knowing so profound and so powerful that you become one with your divine truth and purpose. It’s as if God/Spirit/Energy/Consciousness has manifested in that one moment of time.

How do you deal with skepticism about the afterlife?

Can we really change the mind of the skeptic or anyone for that matter? And, is it our responsibility to do so. Each person is entitled to believe in a way that supports their religious, spiritual and personal beliefs. It isn’t my mission to get you to believe me, but simply to offer the possibility that love is eternal. And, if love is eternal, do our loved ones survive beyond what we call death?

The truth about the afterlife is based upon a belief system that the individual chooses to abide by. I believe in love. I believe in the love that I shared with my mother. No one has the power to take that away from me. My faith dictates how I believe. And, because of that it gives me hope and guidelines to live my life.

The truth isn’t because I said it, it’s because you made a conscious decision about it. And, you choose to believe in something. Whether you are for or against the afterlife, it’s your responsibility to decide. I’ve decided.

I often say, “I’m not here to change your mind, but to present you with a possibility that love is everlasting…that love lives on. It’s not like all of your loved ones heard that I was coming to town, they heard you were coming to town, and because of this they are present with you.”

What do you feel is key to leading a happy and good life?

I could offer a grocery list of things or keys to leading a happy and good life. But, in truth, it all stems from one place. The ability to love and be loved. Every human being wants to be seen, to be heard and to be loved.

The one question I often get from people is “how can I have a good death?” And, how does that relate to your question of leading a good and happy life. And, my answer is always the same, by living the best life. If we live a good life by following the inner voice, faith, codes, compassion that we have set up with ourselves, then living, and passing from this life, will get easier.

What do you hope people take away from an encounter with you?

That the power to see beyond the veil or beyond their fear or beyond their doubt lives deep within them. That they are the true conduit of spiritual messages for their lives. Granted, often we need someone to move us along, guide us through life challenges and to assist us through grief, that’s where I come in.

What I say just before I stand in front of a group of people, whether it’s 8 or 800, I say “May this be an experience of divine and holy healing. May the voice of love bring ease and peace? May the hearts of those that are broken be lifted and the souls that are weighted be light. May this be an experience of everlasting love and eternal love. What message must I bring that is of love and light?”

I want them to feel loved!

Additional Grief and Healing Resources